AN EXAMPLE OF THE sbobet STUPID BANTER

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9:03 PM

Rich asks Dymski, again, about the bike trip from Maryland. Mike says it would have been much better without the borrowed helmet and with much less rain.

Rich says, “How come you didn’t take a more direct route?”

Dymski says, “I did go direct, right down I-77.”

“No, no, no,” says Cardone, “I-77 curves around so that you have to merge with another interstate.”

“I’m telling you, I just made the drive, I took I-77!”

“Sorry man, I just don’t believe it, I-77 has a curve and can’t be the most direct route,” insisted Rich.

And so for 9.5 minutes we debated the curvature of I-77. Neither side gave ground. Especially the side represented by the guy who was, in fact, ON I-77 a short time ago. Stupidity ensues and it’s damn hard to get a hand dealt.

I change the subject by asking everyone at the table, “Sooooo, who’s coming to Bradoween?”

BOOZIN’

9:30 PM

CJ calls. We all drink moonshine.

9:31 PM

I call Al. We all drink moonshine.

10:35 PM

Sexy Maudie calls. We all drink vodka or tequilla.

11:24 PM

Austin April calls. We drink tequilla.

MY NOTES GET ALL SCRAWLY

9:49 PM

I’ve spent a good deal of time this morning trying to figure out why I wrote “Blood vs. Carter admin.” in my notes. Was he related to a hostage? Did he resent the loss to Reagan?

Which reminds me… A few weeks ago I had a dream about Jimmy Carter. I was in a Taxi cab in Atlanta and Jimmy was driving. I decided to sit in the front as a gesture of sbobet respect to our former President. We’d talked for some time when, for no reason, I blurted out “Hyper-inflation! I mean can a phrase sound worse that that? HY! PER! INFLATION! Jeeeezus!”

Jimmy gave me shit for using the Lord’s name in vain.

Anyway, it now seems the notes say “Blood vs. Cardone arm”, which would makes sense, Cardone kept challenging Blood to an arm wrestle. I knew this wouldn’t actually happen. It didn’t.

9:56 PM

I wrote, “The wheel”. I assume that’s in reference to a hand I played against someone. I don’t actually remember at this point.

It couldn’t be in reference to the music because I eschewed the Dead tonight for something we could all enjoy.

MY 5 DISK CHANGER :

1 Phish at Charlotte ’94 disk 2

2 Phish at Charlotte ’94 disk 3

3 Allman Brothers EAT A PEACH

4 Particle

5 Phish Picture of Nectar

BadBlood actually liked Particle. I was pleasantly suprised to find out that TeddyBallgame is also a phish-head. He prefers Widespread Panic, which is just wrongheaded, but I still find it acceptable.

10:45 PM

Phil is busted and Otit joins our table. There was some confusion about this.

We were using different chips at each table and so I counted his chips at Blood’s table to give him the equivilant amount at ours. What I didn’t know was that Blood cashed him out. So Otit pocketed that cash and then took free chips at my table for about $75.

I don’t blame Otit for that. He’s an honest guy. I think we both just screwed up. Tommy the Axeman promises to collect the money today.

11:45 PM

I raise pre-flop with the hammer and everyone folds to me

12:10 PM

Dymski and I are in a big hand.

He limps pre-flop and I make it $4.

He calls.

Flop is all hearts… queen high. He bets $6. I call.

Turn is another heart. Dymski thinks for a bit then bets $10.

I come over the top and put him all in. He goes in the tank and then folds.

I show the hammer. There’s no way he plays a solid flush like that. I was pretty sure the hammer would work that time. Neither the 7 nor the 2 was a heart.

DISASTER LOOMS

We’re down to 1 table now after a substantial amount of attrition.

It looks like this :

1s BadBlood (our favorite Metal listening future neighbor)

2s Alan (I’ve got nipples. Can you milk me Greg?)

3s Shep Tiltstein (He earned this nickname last week at Otis’ house. He was on wicked tilt at the time. Obviously. But the name sticks because he was previously… without a nickname)

4s Team ScottSmith (By now VERY fake drunk)

5s G-Rob (tall)

6s Tommy the Axeman (Once built a guitar for a woman he doesn’t know. She plays in an 80s cover band and he’s hot for her. For the record, they do a great cover of Billy Jean)

7s Teddy Ballgame (Exactly like TeamScottSmith… except Teddy IS actually that drunk. All hands played by Teddy feature the phrase, “Awwww hell”)

8s The WOLVERINE (finally rebought. Twice)

9s The Mark (Known worldwide as the man who defeated BadBlood at arm wrestling. Also known for hosting a competing game which features No-Limit Omaha hi/lo.)

12:52 AM

I’m in a hand with TeamScottSmith.

Scott bets $3 and I make it $8. He calls.

Flop is A-A-10 with 2 diaminds.

He bets $10. I call.

Turn is a 4 of diamonds.

He bets $10. I raise it to $35.

He folds.

I show the hammer.

12:55 AM

The very next hand… Scott and I are at it again.

I limp in with 4-6 of spades.

The flop is 3-3-5 with 2 clubs.

Scott bets 2 and I call.

The turn is an offsuit 7! Bingo! He bets $5 and I raise to $25. He calls.

The river brings another club and I’m concerned. He checks and I do to.

My straight is good.

That’s the beauty of the hammer on the previous hand.

1:07 AM

Teddy bets $3 and Mark makes it $18.

Teddy calls.

The flop is king high and Teddy would be golden with his suited slick.

He looks down to make a bet… and notices his cards aren’t there.

Shep looks sheepish. He’s mucked Teddy’s cards. Nice hand Mark.

1:45 AM

BadBlood’s chair is taken away for cleaning after he rivers a straigh flush to the 8… in diamonds.

At this point, I’ve stopped taking notes. A good thing because now TeamScottSmith has a pint of Jim Beam on the table.

I finished up $30. I was up $200 when I got to the final table. I’m a bad poker player. That post is next.